Take a Walk With Me in Kirovograd

Mommy plays with YarikAngry Ukrainian woman at orphanage did NOT want me taking the picture!
First time Lamar rocks Yarik to sleep!


Kolya enjoys a snack!

We take Sergei and Vova to lunch in Kirovograd

Paka! Kak de la?

Greetings from Kirovograd. I wanted to share with you guys a little bit about where we are and thus where our boys are from. Kirovograd is a 3 hour train ride away from Kiev...which might as well be another planet away. Gone are the bright city lights, McDonald's, cathedrals, and malls. We are in a simple city. When I say city, that is a stretch. It is more like a village. They are slightly more courteous with their driving (by that I mean they will wave if they run you over as opposed to getting angry at you in Kiev because running over you slowed them down). There is a LOT of dirt in the air since the part of the road that are paved are very torn up). The shoes we wear on a daily basis are all ready to be trashed. We are staying in a one bedroom apartment with a small kitchen. Looking in from the outside, there could be nothing tempting inside to take. Our place is two steps away from looking like an abandoned building. Inside, it is relatively decent. Our landlord have access to the washing machine so we have to pay them do to our laundry. Then they come up to our balcony outside our room and hang it to dry. Our beds were boards when we first arrived. In fact, it was so painful the first night, I packed us up to go find another apartments. However, our landlords came up and added a ton of outside lawn furniture mattresses to our bed. I kid you not! Lamar and I are sleeping on top of approximately 5-6 thin mattresses stacked up on each other! God has been good to me because I know by now with my back I shouldn't even be walking!

Our kitchen has a gas stove top, a mini-fridge, and small ice box. That's it. No microwave, no oven, no Kitchen Aid blender! We are roughing it here. Meals consist of lots of spaghetti, scrambled eggs, omelets, and oatmeal. Two nights ago Lamar bought some stuffed noodles, sauce, and sausage to make spaghetti. Little did he know that the noodles were stuffed with raw onions (everyone knows what Lamar and I think of raw onions!), and the "sauce" was ketchup. He tried to add a bunch of mustard and pepper to it to make it something more that just ketchup on onion noodles, but it made it much worse! We could NOT eat it to save our lives. Lamar proceeded to pour it in a dish, top it off with his homemade ketchup/mustard/pepper sauce and sent it down to our landlord and his family. He tried passing it off as some special American delicacy. I couldn't believe it! I still wonder if they even tried it.

On days we want to go to the market, we walk from the Jetski Dome (That's how they say Children's Home in Ukrainian). It's about a 2 mile walk door to door. The most difficult part of the walk is passing by all the beggars. They're more out on the weekends than during the week. I haven't quite figured that out yet.

Jetski Dome is located in the middle of a neighborhood- off the beaten path. I think that is good because it would be very tempting for passers-by to gawk at the orphan children playing in the yard. All the kids get very excited when a ma-chine-a (truck, car, or motorbike) passes by. Everything stops for that moment. You can see the curiosity and amazement in their eyes. It's just beyond reach...

When we arrive at Jetski Dome everyday, we check in and they ask us if we want to go upstairs and play or outside. We do one each visit each day. If we stay inside we have to put on Scrub booties on our feet so our dirty American shoes don't track on their very clean floors. The orphanage is actually kept up really nicely inside. It surprised us - we were expecting more cob webs, rats, and chipped paint, but it's actually very lovely. We were also surprised to hear from their caregivers that the children eat 6 time per day! We also expected gruel and bread maybe once! No wonder Kolya is so big! They are not lacking for food. They have great appetites, too. Apparently they eat everything. They get two breakfasts, a lunch, a snack, two dinners and sour milk and cookies before bed. Lamar asked what he needed to do to reserve a place there for him to live! He could easily overlook the sour milk in lieu of TWO breakfasts and TWO dinners.

For the most part, everyone there is very nice and pleased to see us. They are patient with our attempts to talk in Russian and they even give us assistance as we butcher their language. They smile and wave when I take pictures...except for one angry Russian woman yesterday who waved my off and told me "Nyet! Nyet!" I felt horrible she got so upset with me taking the pictures. However, Lamar comforted me by saying, "Maybe she is just having a bad hair day!" Oh, how my husband gets me through things!

Today as we walked around the orphanage outside, many caregivers from inside would knock on the window and yell out to the boys. "Mamma? Pappa?" They were asking Kolya and Yarik if we were their new parents. I think I may have even caught a glimpse of a tear or two in some of the ladies' eyes. It must be hard knowing that two of their precious babies will be leaving them soon. It would definitely destroy me.

We walked to the market today and found some great buys! We officially have coming home outfits for the boys. We found several pieces (including overalls...yeah!) for Yarik, and a few great shirts for Kolya. we have some more work to do, but we made great progress today. We were very pleased. We aren't used to haggling, and we might even stink at it, but we do enjoy finding what we think is a "good deal". I'm sure as we walk away from each booth they utter, "Silly American Suckers!"

Yuri called us from Kiev today. It looks like the SDA should review our plan of adoption by Wednesday. That means Lamar and I SHOULD go to court on Thursday. If you are asking what that means I can explain it as simply as this....the boys will legally be OURS by Thursday of this week. Yes, that is right! If all goes well, the Douberly 4 will become the Douberly 6 in nearly 3 more days. We aren't holding our breath, but we are saying lots of prayers that all goes well. We still don't know if the boys will be able to come home with us right away. We tend to get different answers from different people. After court we will have passports, visas, and medicals to deal with...but hey, one hurdle at a time....right?

Yesterday, our landlord and his son, (Sergei and Vova) asked us if we wanted them to show us a different grocery store. We walked about 2 miles to a giant place that almost looked like their version of a Costco. They strongly encouraged us to buy groceries, even though they cost more than our local grocery store. They didn't buy anything. However, they used their card and collected points off of our purchases. They showed us the point system and the "prizes" they can get when so much is spent. We felt oddly and slightly used, but nothing like how we felt at lunch. Serge was anxious to show us an authentic Ukrainian restaurant with English menus. We took a cab from the grocery store and drove to a beautiful restaurant. We told them we wanted to treat since they were taking the time to show us around. Sergei refused and said we would eat and he would drink coffee and his son would only have one drink. We insisted that they order food. While reviewing the menus, Sergei had a LONG discussion with our waitress. Little did we know he had ordered a 6 course meal for everyone including wine and some crazy pitcher of who-knows what! There was enough food to feed the entire Kirovograd village. As surprised as we were that Sergei quickly went from drinking "just coffee" to a 6 course meal of food we had never heard of, we were even more surprised that apparently he made some sort of negotiations and arrangements with the staff that we would come back EVERY day for lunch. He kept pushing it and pushing it- asking us what time we would come back tomorrow...what would we eat...call him and he would get the cab...etc., etc., We realize there is quite a cultural and language gap, but Lamar and I both became very uncomfortable with the situation. Even the waitress asked us what time we would be back each day. Don't get me wrong, the food was good but they were NOT giving it away. Also, real Ukrainian food is EXTREMELY rich and fattening. Lamar and I could never eat that way every day. It didn't stop there either! Sergei came up to our apartment last night asking AGAIN what time we would go back tomorrow. We told him we weren't and he appeared to be angry. I guess we can't win them all...!

I can't conclude this long-winded blog entry without giving you an update on Andrew and Alex. There is a HUGE adjustment phase for all of us. They have been 2 in a group of about 15 the past year and a half. They have never received the kind of attention that Lamar and I pour on them. We LOVE to have fun. We will blow bubbles, play chase, build building, and push them on the swing for hours. However, with this attention comes correction of any disobedience, disrespect, or ill-behavior. I think more often than not, if a sticky situation arises, the caregivers just look away or hope the problem just dissolves. This is when it is tough for them to have TWO parents that do NOT look away. They may have both received the first time-outs in their lives....and they HATE it! I'm not talking about hating being in time out. They both HATE when their brother is in trouble and has to be put in time out! In fact, both of them have cried when the OTHER child has been in trouble~! Kolya as gone so far as to chew us out in angry Russian. It's crazy! They are both very protective of one another and very sensitive. They are good kids. It's so amazing to really see all their colors.

Today I spent quite a bit of time pushing Yarik on a swing he likes. He kept "pretending" to sleep. However, Lamar came over and said he wasn't pretending...he really was tired. I didn't buy it, but Lamar picked him up and Yarik was out cold in less than 2 minutes. That's right! We were on the playground and Lamar rocked his son to sleep while standing up. It melted my heart. It shows me just how comfortable Yarik is becoming with mommy and daddy. How precious!

Kolya is a little tougher to get through the layers. Although he is sensitive, he isn't voluntarily affectionate. We have to ask for hugs and kisses. We realize it will come with time. However, today we saw a bit of a break-through. We were inside playing this afternoon and randomly there was a huge clap of thunder outside. Apparently he is scared silly of thunder and jumped a million miles. He instantly came running over to me and jumped in my lap. He let me be a mommy to him! It was so precious and sweet to me. I will treasure that random clap of thunder sent from God forever. Thank you, God!

There is one other couple here going through the process with us. They are a bit ahead. They had their court date on Friday and they will be taking their son home tomorrow. They are from Haifa, Israel and if you can believe this...their family has NO idea they are adopting! They just think they are on vacation. How did they do that? How did they go through the process without the support and help of their family and friends? There is NO way I could have done it without each and every one of you. I cannot even imagine...

On that note, I will leave you for now. Thanks for reading my thoughts and for being patient with the rambling.

We love you all.

God bless,
Kris